Cape Coral’s 40th anniversary: From the editor

Whenever something big happens, your children are going to have equally big feelings. They can’t help it, the bigger the occasion, the bigger the emotions. Children anticipate, get excited and feel stress in orders of magnitude more than parents.

Holiday times are stressful times for parents and a lot is going on. Family might be visiting, there might be parties, functions, and other holiday festivities to get excited and over emotional about.

In these kinds of situations, some kind of meltdown or trouble is inevitable. The children get overexcited, stressed, worried, tired or disappointed and tantrums or tears inevitably follow. Collier County family events are often outdoors, which adds extra pressure to the situations. People still disapprove of noisy children, disturbances and any kind of unruly behavior.

Despite this, children need to express their feelings freely and be able to unload the stress and emotion so they can return to functioning normally. Letting them have a good cry, while still maintaining boundaries and limitations is the best way of letting everyone get back to their day.

This kind of experience happens every holiday, or every time something big happens because it has to. Every time emotions or tensions run high they have to be expressed otherwise the child can’t function. They know that perfectly well, yet some people seem to have forgotten that, which is why they disapprove.

Handling a holiday tantrum is much like handling one in a public place. Remove yourself and your child from the situation if you can. Go into the house, another room, a corner, behind a tree or somewhere the proceedings won’t be spoiled or affected by what’s going on. Handle your child with patience and calm, and let them get it out of their system. Maintain discipline if the child really plays up, but again, do it calmly.

They aren’t crying or shouting to show you up or to make a scene, but to offload bad feelings, stress or emotions that have overrun. It’s a release valve for them, something that is going to happen whether you like it or not so learning how to handle it is the best thing you can do for your child.

Family events are okay because the people will know you, and mostly understand. There should also be someone there to offload your own emotions on. Have a good talk, listen or forget about things altogether and let your own pressure drop as the day goes on. Listen to music or watch a movie if there is nobody around to talk to. Anything to reduce pressure and take your mind off whatever is going on.

Handling the situation like a loving, caring parent is the best way to deal with the child, and the family. By being calm, enforcing boundaries and limitations, while making time for the child and helping them through the tears, the bad time should pass much quicker, and with less disruption. Making for a much happier parent, family and child.